your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
