He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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