Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
