NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
