Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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