it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
