I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
