what day is it and did you see me today?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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