I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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