no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
