oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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