you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
