I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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