If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
