I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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