My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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