My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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