we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
