Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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