i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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