I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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