erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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