College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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