Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
