You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
