so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
