hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
