Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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