its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
