Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
