they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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