Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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