I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
