U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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