Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
