apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
