You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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