More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
