when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
