woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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