all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
