hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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