"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
