So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
