i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
