Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
