i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
