You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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