forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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