two words...techno handjob
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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